Jaja Anuar
96 days.
Friday, 6 April 2018 • 04:38 • 0 comments

to the man who i loved the most & who i poured all my loves to, ZD;

it's been 96 days since you gave up on me. i still wishing tht this is just a dream & if it's really a dream, please. do wake me up bcs this is the worst nightmare i ever had.

it was VERY HARD for me. for not having you in my life anymore. i HAVE to be independent girl while yknw i can't, i HAVE to take care of all thing by myself, i HAVE to keep my heads up eventhough i was struggling, i HAVE to feel like i'm okay without you while i'm actually not, i HAVE to console my heart by myself everytime i feel like want to jump off the building, i HAVE to remind myself tht you're not mine anymore.

this is so suffocating. i need you. but you choose to gave up on us & you choose to be with her. i really need you at my lowest but you were there for her. i was struggling for not having someone who i believe my boyfriend and in the same time was my best friend. i ain't got a friend to talk about our music taste anymore, my life isn't as bright as you were still there. my life changed.

where did all your promises go? to stay by my side? to be there when i need you? why? why? why?

i've watched your editing for your assignments and all tht. wht i can say is, i am so proud of you. you being better from day to day :) keep doing wht you love. do continue wht you had start okay love? bcs i alreay gave up on my life.

but then, listen, i stop updating all my social network bcs i think tht thts the best way for you to feel free right? did you feel better? i stop whatsapping you doesn't mean that im starting to hate you, no. i think yknw how much i love you. my love to you still the same from 2015 :')))) do bear in mind. I NEVER GAVE UP ON YOU.

i'm so sorry. i'm being such a worst girlfriend you ever had & for not being the girl tht you want. i'm sorry bcs i was horrible, ugly and fat. i should do better when you were still mine. you were the best man i ever had. mianhae.

i'm missing you so much & i do really love you. im trying my best not to show my face even my shadow to you if thts will make you happy :)


the one who will be forever in love and insecure to you,
JA

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a petite twenty three y/o girl & yes, i love pink & unicorn xx

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